Ripcord; stub in hand Stage set in a packed crowd full of dying life Main act; palms at the ready Armed to the teeth, grinding away at your spliced insides Oh, your eagerness is seeping Out of your ravenous eyes Oh, your heart is pounding/boiling Anticipation is high Oh, what a rush To breathe in the crowd Now, go get your mouthguard No free rides from whatever vessel remains Refuse any moment to be calm & still Mosh in the muck & the blood that you crawled from not too long ago Finding your window, & go for the kill It’s always a matter of “Didn’t you hear what I say?” There’s no rhythm in your syntax, no soul in your face There’s not enough crowd to keep right out of harm’s way But hey, with your questionable ethics, it’s not like that mattered at all... Oh, your eagerness is seeping Out of your ravenous eyes Oh, your blood is boiling Bystanders run out of time Oh, your body is contorting Control slips out of sight & out of mind You’ve sucker-punched this entire town Where’s your mouthguard??? The blurred pounding math in my head. The taste of sour blood & dirt in my mouth. The visceral haphazardry, & yet the impassive denial of recent violent events. Now, the smooth weaving through the crowd of people & personifications of Apache helicopters. The hawk eyes scour across the strobe-red landscape……& there he is…blissfully unaware of his surroundings. No rhythm in his syntax, no percussion in his hymn…this is your buried dream… No free rides Same 'ol runaround from a bastard like you At your wit's end while ropin' us all into your noose Your ass has overstayed its welcome for far too long Mouth agape & letting the halo of flies in Unmoored, lost, & wanton Bled dry of excuses Running scared in an empty field filled only with confrontation March through the muck & the blood that you made on your own I’ve never moshed in a mudhole, but I’ll surely see you sink Without your mouthguard (get your mouthguard) What a rush Where’s your mouthguard now???

Corpulent & catatonic Stuck in the chair A sullen look on your face Your suit-and-tie serfs with full rictus grins Ready to do your bidding And put everybody in their place No love from your own family No more servants because you’re no king You don’t know how to feel Another running trail runaround Spreading your gospel to the addict masses Looking for someone who believes But deep down, your soul’s rank and rotted I’ll let you know if your thoughts matter at all to me No love from your own family No more servants because you’re no king A clear thought in your dirty mind Was never an option because after all this time, You still don’t know how to feel Lost in your own eyes The center stage is yours Trapped in your own mind The drugs aren’t helping anymore youanditsallaboutyouandeverysinglesmallthoughtthatfestersintojaggedwordsrhythmwithoutform idfullyselfabsorbedanddestroyedbythesuperegoseveryourtieswithsanitystuckonfinanciallife supportwhatscaresyoumostisanemptyroomthatshowsyourwordshavenomeaningnowyou’reLOSTINTHEVOID anothertownanothergroupofonetosapupanddeceiveneverthewisenevertoseeallyourdelusionslaced withlethargyandadderallrippingthenailoutoftheheadpissingitintothewindforcedtowatchthe powerpointofeverysingletimeyourefusedtoacceptyourlossSURROUNDEDBYNOISE Lost in your own eyes The center stage is yours Now, now it’s your time to settle your own made-up scores And exploit them To all these no-good scroungers & stragglers You are their idol Their gold savior Your make-up is runs upon your furrowed brow The wrong man in the right time turned the tide upside down (lost in the void) Stuck on another runaround To big up your you-ness to me You id & your ego Are the only so-called friends you need (surrounded by noise) Never a thought in your mind Gold idol Exploiter You will forever know my name

Another day spent inside my room The sunlight slowly creaks into my eyes How long we’ve been stuck in this quarantine I’ve lost count of days gone by While the dread’s still settling in Thinking back on what could’ve, should’ve, would’ve been I’m paralyzed, thinking “What happens now?” Never fully clear The numbers keep rising along with the fear Most of us are shuttered in & starving for love We're getting desperate Looking up to the sky for a sign from above From what once was life until now 3 months since I saw the last of you This indoor life is whittling my bones 3 months past the point of no return 1 topples down, the others follow suit & concede I return to the bathroom mirror Feel the etchings marked on my face Every virus blossoms & augments from the smallest place Spreads out from the smallest place... I’m stricken, still thinking “What happens now?” Never fully clear The numbers keep rising along with the fear We’re still looking for that distant 60 cycle hum From what once was life until now 6 months since I saw the last of you The death toll climbs the mountainside of morbid thoughts 6 months past the point of no return We took a turn down this awful dead-end street Fatigue has sapped me of any fear Like toiling in the sun for too fucking long The wind picks up speed & the tide is turning But my hope’s too far gone God it’s so scary Watching from my window Staring at my surroundings & noticing as I’m getting older More & more people lose their grip Writhing & flaunting their delusions as businesses close forever And our young & old dominoes They're all tumbling over Tomorrow will come & the sun will still rise We’ll find several ways to adjust & temporarily survive The day shall come when we shall meet again Face-to-face in a nearby café Where we’ll share our joy & pain And reconnect our singular strains Now responsibility is glaring at me Silent wondering if I’m still a disgrace The countless nights lying awake in bed Waiting for inspiration to smack me in the face Many spent hours stuck in our boxes Staring at our screens, waiting for what comes next in line Perusing the interwebs Hoping there’s a new distraction you might try The hours still pass by trying to find that 1 thing that can help pass the time, & forget ourselves, Even as the dread’s still festering The Atlas sphere of stress & saudade grows heavier as the long hours trudge along evermore… Falling back into old habits as the days go by And cutting back now seems much harder than it has before Regret after stumble after failure 10 steps back for every step forward The hurt throbs in my mind & body, my heart & soul And my stomach’s been replaced by a dark gaping hole The Tylenol sinks me through the bedroom floor So much exhaustion, yet still so much stress & dread & so much more Home again, but my heart's still heavy with strife Traveling this grueling tunnel Hoping to find some light Reaching for the end Climbing the uphill slope But with the constant rising, how can we all still cope? Shops close Life on pause Spirits shatter Yet the trains still pass by The machine keeps on grinding People lie & smile & die, & life goes on Back into the station Gone are the kiosks Gone is the couple selling pamphlets about the “true” word of God Mouths sewn shut by viral entities Nothing much to report anymore Except a broken toppled light post in a Target parking lot The damage has been done Crowds regather & commiserate again In this slow return to a so-called state of normalcy Under the sweltering sun A new day rising The faint wind still ever-present I feel those scars in my hands And in my heart of hearts Where do we go from here? It’s still so scary Going out again After all this tiring time How can I err on the side of caution & let my face still shine? I’m praying to whatever God is up there That what we all went through Never happens in any future time Yet that fear still looms in the back of my mind Then again, seeing old friends & family Makes me feel feeling better, more secure & bolder Still I must remember the young & old dominoes That have tumbled over